Pivot Your Attention to These 67 Unforgettable Quotes From ‘Friends’


It’s been over two decades since Friends fans were first introduced to Joey, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Monica and Phoebe. While the beloved Emmy Award-winning series came to an end in 2004, the iconic show could not BE any more quotable all these years later. From “PIVOT” to “how you doin’?” our favorite onscreen pals delivered memorable and hilarious one-liners for 10 seasons.

As we remember the late Matthew Perry, who died Oct. 28 at 54, we’re sure his fellow castmates—David Schwimmer, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc and Jennifer Aniston—are in just as much shock as we are. Let’s think back to the best of Chandler Bing and some of the best quotes from Friends…and they’re all kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic!

67 Friends TV Show Quotes

Joey Tribbiani quotes

1. “How you doin’?”

2. “Joey doesn’t share food!”

3. “Here come the meat sweats.”

4. “Could I BE wearing any more clothes?!”

5. “You can’t just give up. Is that what a dinosaur would do?”

6. “Some girl ate Monica!”

7. “If he doesn’t like you, this is all a moo-point.”

Parade” data-src=https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/IK8xnTVrk1Eggcjq73b05g–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTk2MA–/https://media.zenfs.com/en/parade_250/8c5462e7a00672a7a4379a3daae4defd>
“No uterus, no opinion.”


8. “She’s my friend and she needed help. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you!”

9. “Grab a spoon!”

10. “You don’t own a TV? What’s all your furniture pointed at?”

11. “What’s not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Good.”

Related: 150 Friends Questions and Answers for Hours of Entertainment

Chandler Bing quotes

12. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

13. “Whapah!”

14. “Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!”

15. “I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!”

16. “I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”

17. “I’m sorry, it was a one-time thing. I was very drunk, and it was someone else’s subconscious.”

18. “So it seems like this Internet thing’s here to stay.”

19. “I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day.”

20. Janice: “What a small world.”
Chandler: “And yet I never run into Beyoncé.”

21. “I have no idea what’s going on, but I am excited.”

22. “I had a very long, hard day.”

Ross Geller quotes

23. “We were on a break!”

24. “Unagi.”

25. “Pivot!”

26. “I’m gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in ’99!”

27. “Ugly baby judges you!”

28. “I’m fine. Totally fine.”

29. “No more falafel for you!”

30. “I’m the holiday armadillo!”

31. “I grew up with Monica. If you didn’t eat fast, you didn’t eat.”

32. Monica: “Where’ve you been?”
Ross: “Emotional hell.”

33. “I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.”

34. “You’re over me? When were you…under me?”

Parade” data-src=https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/XkwRWN7ItDQM8tWg2WsVtQ–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTk2MA–/https://media.zenfs.com/en/parade_250/571be7fcc1f6aa52292888a0dd7ec058>
“We were on a break!”


Phoebe Buffay quotes

35. “See? He’s her lobster.”

36. “Come on, Ross, you’re a paleontologist. Dig a little deeper.”

37. “Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”

38. “Your collective dating record reads like a who’s who of human crap.”

39. Monica: “Do you have a plan?”
Phoebe: “I don’t even have a pla.”

40. “They don’t know that we know they know we know.”

41. “That is brand new information!”

42. “Oh you like that? You should hear my phone number.”

43. “Something is wrong with the left phalange.”

Rachel Green quotes

44. “Well, maybe I don’t need your money. Wait, wait, I said maybe!”

45. “Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?”

46. Ross: “You got a job?”
Rachel: “Are you kidding? I’m trained for nothing!”

47. “I got off the plane.”

48. “He’s so pretty, I want to cry.”

49. “No uterus, no opinion.”

50. “Oh I’m sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?”

51. “It’s like all of my life everyone has always told me you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe. And then today, I just stopped and I said, what if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse, you know, or a hat?”

52. Monica: “You can’t live off your parents your whole life.”
Rachel: “I know that, that’s why I was getting married.”

53. “Today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.”

54. “Just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!”

55. “We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.”


” data-src=https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/wQuV68N2vTBrHy7ldgU9EA–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTk2MA–/https://media.zenfs.com/en/parade_250/103714faf23af016778b9e3453e50019>

Monica Geller quotes

55. “And I have to live with a boy!”

56. “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.”

57. “Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?”

58. “I’ve got this uncontrollable need to please people.”

59. “I KNOW!”

60. “Now, I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you’re doing it wrong.”

61. “Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that’s ours!”

62. “I’m gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you.”

63. “It’s baby time. Pants off, Bing.”

Related: 12 Friends-Inspired Recipes Monica Geller Would Definitely Approve Of

Mike Hannigan quotes

64. “You’re a strange kind of grown-up.”

Janice Litman-Goralnik quotes

65. “OH MY GOD.”

66. “Well, I got to buy a vowel because oh my god.”

Frank Jr. quotes

67. “My sister’s gonna have my baby!”

Next, a ranking of all 10 Friends Thanksgiving episodes!